Remember the movie Click? Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) is slave to a workaholic boss and on a late night trip to Bed Bath & Beyond meets a crazy store clerk named Morty (Christopher Walken). Morty gives Michael the ultimate remote - it fast forwards, pauses and rewinds life. Well, if today doesn’t get any better you can find me at the Carmel Bed Bath & Beyond later tonight looking for an employee named Morty.
Last night I had some time away from Madi. While we needed some groceries I said screw it, I’m doing what I want to do. That’s pretty tough on a Sunday night when most retail stores close at 6p or 7p and movie times have already come and gone. I figured I’d pick up groceries today after work on my way home since our nanny stays until 6p. After a fitful night on the floor because my back was bothering me, Madi wakes up ready to conquer the world at 6:30a. That or she had to poop and didn’t want to do it alone. 6:45a horrid smell reaches my nostrils. Good thing I changed her right away because had Madi decided to put any weight on that diaper it would’ve exploded. Poop was everywhere, maxed out the elastic on the diaper. No big deal, poop happens. Once she has clean britches on it’s about time to start getting ready for work. Bring her into our bathroom and start getting ready. 7:20a phone rings, nanny can’t come today because she’s sick. Wonderful. I have a big project to get out the door at work, have to go in. Call Nana & Papa, they can watch Madi until around noon. Crisis averted. Guess I should’ve gone grocery shopping last night instead of playing hookie as I no longer have a nanny until 6p so I can swing by the store on my way home. [slap palm on forehead] 7:40a pass Madi off to Dan so I can finish getting ready for work and pack up Madi. Load Madi and a few things into the car, head to Nana & Papa’s. 8a get to Nana & Papa’s and realize I brought Madi’s food but no bottle. They graciously offer to swing by our house to pick one up, thank you! 8:15a head to work. Guess what, construction on Keystone has moved all ramps to 465 and where I thought I needed to be was wrong. Do a u-turn in the median, get honked at, start back in the right direction. 8:30a arrive at work and it dawns on me that I also forgot to pack extra formula, call Nana & Papa. Smile and “good morning” to coworkers on the way in when all I really want to do is scream or cry. What a lousy morning. 8:35a begin reading emails from the weekend. Highlight a few, Shift+Delete to permanently delete ones I don’t need. Read a few more. Shift+Delete. Panic when I see my entire Inbox get wiped out. Entire…Inbox…Gone.
The only lesson I can come up with for today is that I should’ve been responsible last night and gone grocery shopping but I don’t agree with that lesson so if I had a life remote it would definitely be on rewind right now. Definitely.
By the way, you can’t recover deleted items that have been shift+deleted. Better hope you have a good IT disaster recovery plan in place that archives your email. AND an IT manager with a sense of humor when you explain what happened. J
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