Remember the works of God

“This is a day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord—a lasting ordinance."

– Exodus 12:14 (NIV)

God commanded the Israelites to hold feasts commemorating the things that He did for them. Why? Because the fallen nature of Adam is in all of us, and we easily fall prey to the distractions and demands around us. God want us to remember what He has done in history and our lives, because when we forget God’s faithfulness in our past, we have a tendency to take the future into our own hands. What can you do to remember the works of God in your life?

Taking a few minutes this morning to remember & review the things God has done for me in the past 5 months. 

strength when I didn't think I could do it alone; love in the innocent statement of "Mommy, you're awesome" and spontaneous hugs accompanied with "I love you Mommy"; recognition that my life is full of loving, hold-me-accountable, supportive people; wisdom for when to fight, when to keep my mouth shut and my actions in check; direction via amazing situations that could only be directed by Him; affirmation during the wee hours of the morning spent in cuddle time with little arms around my neck; peace that even though this may not be a direction I saw our lives taking, we will receive blessings along the way; challenges to let Him lead; challenges to let Him lead (it deserves a second listing, continual work in progress) 

Interesting articles about marriage

Read these recently and thought about posting on Facebook but who knows if that'll be around in 10yrs plus the likelihood of me remembering that post...slim. Not sure Blogger will be around in 10yrs either but it's tied to Google and they seem to be doing pretty well so I'll take my chances. I doubt the article weblinks would work in 10yrs so I copied the full text of the articles.

10 Things I want my daughters to know about marriage followed by 11 Things I want my son to know about marriage. There's enough societal pressure regarding the roles of a wife/mother and husband/father so I wanted both lists together because a lot of what is listed below is gender neutral. Husbands don't band together in a hunting party to provide food for their families. Wives don't beat the laundry over rocks down at the river. Thankfully we've made a few advancements over the generations.

10 Things I Want My Daughters To Know About Marriage

I have two daughters. Norah is 4 and Aspen is just 3 months. Their lives look very different than mine did as a child. My father left when I was a 9 years old. I was raised half by my single mother, and half by my widowed grandmother. When I got married, I didn’t know much about what it meant to be in a good marriage and I had to learn a lot of things through trial and error.

Even at their young age, I think a lot about my daughters’ future and whether I’m setting a better example than the one I had. Below is a list of things I’ve learned about marriage that I’d like them to know.

(Author’s Note: I know that views on marriage are changing. This list is based on my own experience in a straight marriage because it’s all I know.)
Don’t let your husband pressure you into sex: Most likely your husband will want sex more than you expect. Don’t let your husband pressure you into things you are not comfortable with. Talk openly about sex with him. Discuss your expectations and try hard to understand his. Although sex is important, be sure that you both realize that it is only one part of your marriage, it isn’t the whole marriage.

Don’t lower your expectations of your husband after marriage. Raise them: After marriage, it’s easy to get comfortable. I’ve never understood why this happens, because marriage is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s easy to let things slide after marriage. To expect fewer dates, fewer flowers, fewer love letters. Don’t. In fact, expect more and you will get it. And do the same for him. Once you have children, those little trinkets of affection may be the only things that keep your marriage above water.

Tell him what you want as frankly, and plainly as possible: I know this sounds cliché, but men and women communicate differently. Most men speak plainly. They like the obvious to be spelled out. Rather than hoping that he will pick up on your hints, say things like, “Take me out more,” or “Don’t give me an answer, just listen to me for a while because I need to vent,” or “I’m really frustrated with the kids. It’s not you. Just let me be alone for a while and I will be fine.”

Sometimes the house will be a mess and it’s his fault, too: When I say sometimes, I mean most of the time. Especially after you have kids. He has as much of an obligation to clean the house as you do, so tell him to stop complaining and do the laundry.

Sometimes it will feel like he’s stomping on your feelings, when in fact he’s just wandering blindly: Your husband is going to forget to do things. A lot of things. He’s going to say stupid things, too. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Realize that most likely his actions or statements were not malicious. He didn’t intend to hurt you or not do something on purpose.

Don’t allow him to tell you your place or define your aspirations: When you get married, you may want to be a stay-at-home mom. Five years into marriage, you my decide you want to become a lawyer. Or perhaps when you get married you may be a lawyer, and five years in you might decide you want to become a stay-at-home mom. Your husband will most likely do something similar with his life goals. A successful marriage is one where both partners expect and support positive change.

Your husband is your partner, not your master: Never forget that you are equals.

Expect him to change with age (both physically and emotionally): Most likely your husband will get a little fatter over the years. He will grow more mature. He will go a little gray and a little bald. You will change, too. But at the same time, he will become different emotionally and intellectually. He will grow more mature. So much of a successful marriage is accepting and understanding change within your partner. As long as those changes are natural and positive, let them happen.

Don’t be afraid to frustrate your husband: This is a good thing. Keep him on his toes. Questioning his motivations and his sincerity will ultimately make him more aware of his actions.

Expect him to get up in the night with the kids: If your kids take after you, you are going to have some long nights. He will have a lot of excuses as to why he can’t get up. He works in the morning, and he doesn’t want to be tired at work because it’s going to make his job harder. You know what, you have to work, too. You might have a job outside the house, or you might be a stay at home mom. It doesn’t matter. You have stuff to do, same as him, so expect him to help. Marriage is a partnership. Never forget that.

Clint Edwards is the author of No Idea what I’m Doing: a daddy blog. He lives in Oregon. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. (A version of this essay first appeared on his blog.)

11 Things I Want My Son to Know About Marriage

Right now, my son, Tristan, is 7 years old. Even at this young age, I think a lot about what kind of a husband he will make. I think about his future, and if I'm setting a good example. Below is a list of things I want him to know about marriage.

(Author Note: This list is based on my own experience in a straight marriage because it's all I know. However, I have to assume that some of this advice is universal.)

1. No one will frustrate you more than your wife. This is a good thing. Your wife will keep you on your toes. She will question you, your motivations, and your sincerity in ways that will ultimately make you more self-aware.

2. You are not the only one with an opinion. Sometimes it's best to just shut up and listen. You might learn something.

3. Sometimes she needs to be left alone. During an argument, your wife might lock herself in the bathroom or bedroom -- or hop in the car and go for a drive just to get away from you. Leave her alone. She needs time to process.

4. You will always find other women attractive. Marriage does not make you dead. You are still a man, and you will still look at other women. The real question is how you handle that. Don't forget the commitment you made on your wedding day.

5. Sometimes the house will be a mess, and it's your fault, too. When I say sometimes, I mean most of the time. Especially after you have kids. You have as much of an obligation to clean the house as she does, so stop b*tching and do the laundry.

6. Take her out and bring her flowers. Cliché, I know, but it's true. I've mentioned this in another post, but the most frustrating stalemate in your marriage will be this: Dates lead to intimacy. Intimacy leads to dates. Sex makes me feel valued in the same way dates and flowers make my wife feel valued. It doesn't have to be flowers -- perhaps she likes something else (it could be anything from candy, to sports, to free time). But it is your job figure it out and give it to her.

7. Tell her she's beautiful every day. There are a lot of people telling your wife she's unattractive. At the grocery store, there are magazines with photoshopped women telling your wife she needs to look impossibly slim and forever young. TV stars with a fleet of physical trainers, dietitians and plastic surgeons make it seem like there is something wrong with your wife because having children changed her body in ways she can't define. She is bombarded with people defining beauty for her, and it is your job to help her fight those outside influences.

8. Get up in the night with your kids. If your kids take after you, you are going to have some long nights. Sure, you have work in the morning, and although you think that being tired at work is going to make your job harder, your wife has work, too. She might have a job outside the house, or she might be a stay-at-home mom. It doesn't matter. She has sh*t to do, same as you, so help her out. This is a partnership. Never forget that.

9. It's OK to talk to your wife about your problems. Sometimes you will feel that you need to keep your problems to yourself. I get it. You're a man, and perhaps you feel that discussing your frustrations is a sign of weakness. But let me tell you something: discussing your problems humanizes you. It gives your wife the opportunity to help you and draw closer to you emotionally. And honestly, no one can help you overcome your problems better than your wife.

10. Give your wife the benefit of the doubt. This is what the hard work of marriage really looks like.

11. Tell your wife that you love her several times a day. Telling your wife that you love her several times a day gives her reassurance. Being married and raising children can be demanding for you and your wife. Without regular reassurance, your wife can begin to wonder why she is with you at all. And here is the really cool part: the more you tell her that you love her, the more she will say it back to you.

Clint Edwards is the author of No Idea What I'm Doing: A Daddy Blog. He lives in Oregon. Follow him on Facebook.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/07/08/10-things-i-want-my-daughters-to-know-about-marriage/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/clint-edwards/11-things-i-want-my-son-to-know-about-marriage_b_5548055.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

sermon notes - Generational Blessings

Another great sermon today I have to record.

Deuteronomy 34:9
Blessing from one Generation to Another
Tim Broyles was talking about Moses and his biological father, adopted father and then his father in law. How each of them had blessed Moses with different things throughout his life.

[quick pause to tell you I went to Parenting:  An Honest Conversation yesterday at the church. It was led by Mike & Kristen Berry and I would recommend anyone and everyone go to one of their discussions sometime. Anyway, the topics discussed yesterday so closely tie into what today's sermon was about I was a little shocked. But then I realized of course there's a tie because God's timing is perfect. He's always right on schedule! The related topic was about how there are stages in your child's life where their influences will shift.]

Deuteronomy - 1. words of encouragement, 2. detailed instructions regarding inheritance and 3. blessings for the future

What's it like to bless a child in our generation?
     It's not providing happiness for we can't guarantee happiness.
     Is it giving an inheritance?
          What if that gift we give is not used for good.
          What if our child chooses not to walk with God.
          What if we scrimp and save, nurture & teach, provide safety and love yet our child turns from the Lord.

3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth.
[The worship team this morning was children. There were two kids on guitar, one on piano, one on drums and 5 singers. They were accompanied by 3 adults but it was primarily the kids. I would be on cloud 10 if Madi or Rawley were to do such a thing. I hope that their best friends walk in faith. I want them to grow, struggle and pray with their youth group. As Dan and I's influence in their lives fall out of 1st place I want the other adults that will move ahead of us in influence to be like-minded and replace what our influence would be, reinforce the same values.]

Am I strong enough to offer blessings? Am I a "good enough" Christian?
Moses murdered a man, buried him in the sand and then ran to another country to hide. I haven't done any of that!! So yes, I can provide a blessing for God does not call the perfect, he calls the willing.

Tim went with a friend to his first PG movie, American Graffiti. Afterwards when his Dad came to pick them up he had his sister along. They met up as Tim and his friend were leaving the movie. His Dad asked, How was it? Tim and his friend were speaking over each other telling him how funny and great the movie was. Then his Dad said, Good. Let's go watch it again with me and your sister. Dun Dun Dunnnnn. As Tim watched the movie again he was ashamed he found the movie "so cool" the first time. Sitting next to his Dad, seeing it through his eyes, made him want to apologize and strive to do better. What do we do...say...share with friends...find humor in...that if we were sitting next to our parents or had our children on our lap would not be appropriate? Do you think there's a moment that God is not with you?

Tim mentioned the 4Kids program with Nora Elementary where volunteers read with the kids. One of the female volunteers, Gretchen, met with her student near the end of the year and excitedly asked him what he wanted for next year. He shyly said he'd like a guy tutor. Gretchen asked why and he replied that his Dad works alot and isn't around so it'd be nice to have a guy to hang with.
     Wonder what that kid's Dad would do if he was aware of his son's longing.

Be a blessing to someone. Prepare your children so they're ready when given a choice that will either glorify God or not. Maybe you need to prepare yourself before you can prepare your children...

Rawley's kidney ultrasound check-up

Yesterday was Rawley’s follow up with the pediatric urologist for his hydronephrosis. These are always long appointments as we start with an ultrasound then have 30-45min before we meet with the doctor. It’s at least a 2-hour affair. When I scheduled the appointment I anticipated Rawley being at Heartland where his naptime starts at noon. Picking him up at 1:30p for a 2p ultrasound didn’t sound that bad. BUT, he moved to Early Childhood which doesn’t start their naptime until 1p, give or take. All the sudden a 1:30p pick up has potential to detonate the Rawley-bomb. I have to schedule the appt 6mos in advance so it’s not possible to call up and ask to move it by an hour.

 

It was a LOOONG afternoon but Rawley did pretty well overall. The hospital didn’t have orders from Dr. Cain’s office for the kidney ultrasound. It took 45min for them to get the orders before we were able to check-in with the hospital. Rawley was adored by several people in the waiting area. We walked up and down the hallways. Rawley pretended to read a magazine – would hold it from the sides and bring it up to his face then put it on his lap and turn the page. Of course he tore out several pages too. Rawley climbed up on the chairs/benches and would put his face against the windows out into the hallway. He got several waves from people walking by.

 

We finally made it to radiology and got to wait for another 20min. Bill was our technician and proficient but not very kid-friendly. The room at IU North had cartoony posters on the wall and a kids area in the waiting room with cartoons playing. Rawley was pretty still at the beginning but kept looking at Bill trying to size him up. As Bill was finishing the top of Rawley’s right side Rawley came to the conclusion that he didn’t like Bill. He started to cry big tears and became a squirrely little guy. We still had the top of Rawley’s left side and then back views of both sides. Yay! After the top of his right side I asked for a little break as Rawley was starting to sweat from all the crying and squirming. Plus I needed a break from having to hold him down on the table. As a parent, that’s tough. We got through all sides & views and praise God, when Bill checked with the radiologist all the images Bill had taken were clear enough. There was a Mom and son Rawley was flirting with in the hospital waiting area which we ran into again in radiology. They were asking for directions to the professional building and the receptionist needed to know which professional building as there’s several on the 86^th St campus. I heard the Mom say Dr. Cain and I asked if it was the urologist Dr. Cain. She said yes so I said they could follow us as that’s where we were going too. In Dr. Cain’s waiting area we sat across from a Mom with a teeny-tiny baby. I’d seen them check-in at the hospital. I can’t identify what it was about the Mom’s actions but I figured she was a NICU grad so I asked how early he was born. She smiled and said 5 weeks, yesterday was my due date. We talked a bit. They were also there for hydronephrosis. She delivered at Hendricks County but they transferred her son to Women’s right after he was born. She was able to come up 2 days later. They were in the NICU on the 2^nd floor but she preferred the pumping rooms on 3. I did too, bigger rooms and outside the NICU for a little break from all the beeps. Before they went back she said, maybe we’ll see you at the picnic!

 

I’m sure you’ve enjoyed reading all this but I will (finally) get to the results of the visit. No change. Rawley’s not gotten worse or better. Dr. Cain said he’s charting his own course of resolution. Usually by now boys have either self-resolved or require surgery. Rawley’s not had any kidney/bladder infections. His dilation is |    | where Dr. Cain operates on gaps this big |                |. Unless Rawley gets a kidney/bladder infection we’re cleared to not come back for a follow up until 15mos from now. Should Rawley get an infection Dr. B can treat it with antibiotics like any other kid but then let his office know. Urine values would help Dr. Cain decide whether to order another ultrasound or just see how Rawley does after the infection is resolved.

 

It was 4:45p when we left Dr. Cain’s office. Like I said, LOOONG day. We were so close and Rawley wasn’t to the end of his rope yet so we popped up to the 6^th floor to visit Rachel & Wes. Rachel was asleep when we got there so I chatted with Wes for a bit. She woke up shortly after and we celebrated her “it’s not cancer or a tumor” results. I said “thank you Grandma” as I know she’s still praying for those of us on earth. And we laughed about being able to go back to worrying about normal, everyday stuff – what to wear, what to fix for dinner, will the house sell, etc. Rachel continues to be a miracle and I’m so grateful!